Secret Love
by Syrae
Summary: Looks can be deceiving. Sometimes there is something boiling underneath the surface, that is not visible for the eye. Not even the trained eye.
1. Chapter 1

_All right, so this is my first Densi fic ever. :0 It's inspired by Secret Love Song from Little Mix ft Jason Derulo. It's been stuck in my head for days (seriously), and for some reason it felt like a perfect Densi song. As I don't usually write song fics, I haven't really included any lyrics, but I think that you'll get the drift once you start reading. Otherwise, just go listen to the song. ;-)_

 _Hope you enjoy; let me know what you think._

* * *

"Do you still have eyes on him?"

"I do," Deeks confirmed.

"Good."

They had been standing on this dance floor for ages; mostly silently swaying to a relaxing tune. To any other person they were just a couple. A very much in love couple, but still just a couple.

Kensi wondered if there was anyone else who thought this was just a little too comfortable for just an undercover surveillance op. Because she was. And maybe it showed.

Their affair had started during their Justin and Melissa Warren undercover op. Kensi had tried to put him off for as long as she could, but there was no turning back anymore. She had fallen for her partner and he for her. Not that she was proud of herself; absolutely not. Not when she had Jack waiting for her at home. But Martin Andrew Deeks had lighted a fire in her that Kensi had forgotten that she had.

She pressed her nose in his neck and took in his scent. Salt water and a hint of his cologne was all it took to make her feel home. It made her feel home like Jack hadn't made her feel at home for a really, really long time.

It had been the combination of him listening, being a really attentive fake husband and his baby blues that won her over. He was fun to be around, even though he was on her nerves more than not. But it was really nice to share a home, chat about everything and nothing and argue about doing chores. Kensi had honestly never felt more herself than those four weeks as Deeks' wife.

So, one night she couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't pretend that the fact that she was falling asleep next to him and him being the first thing she saw the next morning, was not doing anything for her. It had been weird for an entire total of three nights, and after that she reveled in the fact that she actually felt safe and comfortable and dare she say it… sort of loved. He had actually been genuinely scared for her well being when he stormed into the bathroom. And even though he then tried to cover it up with a smart remark, she'd seen the look in his eyes. And Jack had not been on her mind at all.

Deeks turned them to another corner and pulled her just that little closer. He loved these little moments where he could just hold her in plain sight and no one was questioning what he was doing. Normally, he couldn't hold her in the street, out in the open. He pulled his head back and searched for her eyes. He could look into those eyes for the rest of his life and not be bored. Part of him desperately wanted to kiss her, right here on the dance floor. Doing that wouldn't even be strange right now; it wouldn't really raise any eyebrow back in Ops. But Deeks knew that if he gave in, he wouldn't be able to stop. And not being able to stop was not a good idea now. Later; when they found a quiet place. Before she was going back to Jack.

Like Kensi, he was not proud of them. He had always believed that the only person capable of sleeping with someone else's wife was his alias Max Gentry. And that was only because Max was an ass. Marty considered himself to be a decent human being, and decent human beings didn't sleep with somebody else's wife.

But he had. And he still was, on occasion. Part of him hated himself for it. But the other part of him was really, really falling for her. Was home where ever she was. His entire world could light up when he saw her smile or laugh at one of his stupid jokes. He so desperately wanted to be the man she deserved, that it almost physically hurt.

But Kensi was headstrong; and Jack was suffering from PTSD, and even though she had done almost everything she could do for him, she was not yet giving up. She was giving him one last chance to be the one she deserved. And he would support her decision if she decided to give her marriage another shot. He would support her even if it killed him.

"He's left," he whispered in her ear.

"Did you see with whom?"

He nodded. Their surveillance was done. Deeks was not yet ready to let her go, though. He had to. Kensi smiled a soft smile at him. She knew. As always she could read him like an open book. For a night, they had been who they were behind closed doors, in plain sight.

But the curtain was falling for them again, and they were going back to their life of stolen moments and secrecy. Kensi squeezed his hands. She had made up her mind. Jack was not going to be in the picture for much longer. For a moment, she stood on her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Someday soon, Marty," she softly said. "Someday soon."

And it gave him hope.


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, so several of you have asked me to continue this. And after watching a few more episodes and going over the first chapter, I'm praying that I got the characters right. Still completely AU, of course. Let me know what you think._

* * *

The sunlight came streaming through the curtains, and Kensi opened her eyes. The man next to her rolled over and pulled her closer, murmuring something unintelligible. For a moment Kensi felt really safe, and comfortable and loved. She loved waking up like this. But the moment never lasted long, because in the next few seconds she realized that the man next to her was not her husband and she was not really supposed to be here.

Kensi always allowed herself a few moments of this pretend life; this life where she could pretend that she had a right to Marty Deeks, and she actually belonged here, in his bed. She didn't, though. She was Jack Simon's lawfully wedded wife, still, and she had no legal binds to Martin Deeks. The only binds she had to him were with her heart. And Kensi had no way to overlook her heart.

She ignored Deeks's mumbling as she climbed out of the bed and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. This affair had been going on for almost a year now, and Kensi had a pretty good idea that Hetty had at least a hunch that there was more than partnership between her and her partner. She hadn't said anything, though. And since it didn't change their professionalism in the field, the Operations Manager had nothing to complain about.

Kensi had not seen Jack for weeks; let alone she had talked to him. To be completely honest, she was done. Done with trying, done with standing by his side when he was so clearly not standing by hers. She was alone in this marriage; the Jack Simon that had returned, didn't have a wife. And that meant that Kensi didn't have a husband. It was actually that simple. She had done everything in her power to make it work; he had to help himself now. It was time for her to be happy. And Deeks was making her happy. Very, very much so.

Deeks was sitting up in bed when Kensi walked back into the bedroom. He smiled at her. That same smile that made Kensi weak in her knees, that made her feel that she could handle everything the world was throwing at her. Jack had _never_ made her feel like that. Another thing that made her feel that it was time. Time to tell Deeks this thing between them had the opportunity to go places, and time to tell Jack that it was over.

She sat down next to him on the bed and the good morning Deeks was going to wish her, died on his lips when he saw the solemn expression on her face. Something was up. And Kensi being the not really sharing Kensi she was, he better let her talk. So he waited.

Taking a deep breath, Kensi took his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers. "Do you know a divorce attorney? A good one?"

It was not the question Deeks was expecting. It was the question he had been hoping to hear for the better part of a year, but not the one he had expected to hear this glorious morning. Kensi made his world complete. He loved her quirks, her pigheadedness, her smile, the way her body fit perfectly with his, although it was not yet supposed to be there. But he also respected her silent struggle to not completely let go of her suffering husband. So he'd waited. And apparently the waiting was over.

He nodded. "There's one who owes me a favor," he answered. "Do you need me to call?"

She shook her head. "No, just give me the number. I'll call myself." She was silently telling him that she needed to handle this herself. Ending her marriage was something that Kensi had to do on her own. She squeezed his hand. "I need to go to my house, to leave Jack a note and pack some things. See you at work?"

"Always."

Leaning over, Kensi pressed her lips to his. "Thank you for being so patient with me," she whispered.

Deeks caressed her cheek. "I would've understood if you'd gone back to him," he softly said back. "It would've killed me, but I would've understood."

"I know." It was one of the reasons she respected him so much. He was always going to be the good guy. The respectable guy. "But you don't have to worry about that, now. Because I'm choosing you." She was. She was making decisions she should've made a while ago, and it felt liberating and freeing and good.

The Jack Simon that came home three days later, found a note on the kitchen table and the rings that belonged to his wife. Admitting his defeat, he said a silent prayer, saying that all he wanted for Kensi was to be happy.

And that night, that first night after her decision, laying in the arms of the man she had come to love, Kensi, for a the first time in a really long time, was completely happy.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you for reviewing, everyone! This is absolutely the last chapter I'm going to add to this story, so the "complete" I'm going to label it, really means complete. Let me know what you think!_

* * *

It was almost six months later that Deeks took her out on a proper date. A date out in the open. One where they could actually hold hands and steal kisses, while sharing an ice cream cone. Kensi had not thought that it would be _that_ wonderful. She actually felt like a love struck teenager. Not that she had ever been one, but she could imagine.

And leave it to Marty to make every other date they ever went on after that, special. Of course he would go out of his way to make her happy. Not that Kensi would've thought anything else of him; her four weeks undercover as his wife had given her a good idea of what exactly Deeks was capable of as a husband.

But them, together, as a couple, out in the open, was special on a level Kensi could barely comprehend. Just doing something as going grocery shopping was a treat. With Jack, she had to do all that by herself. Marty just made it a complete expedition, and even though he tried to slightly steer her towards a somewhat healthier diet, he only rolled his eyes when she stashed up on Twinkies. Again.

And to Deeks… Honestly, he was happy that he didn't have to hide anymore how much he cared about Kensi. He could be openly affectionate, just because he wanted to. No more hiding out in his apartment, no more stealing kisses in places nobody could see them. Now, he could just step out of his apartment, throw his arm around her shoulders and be proud because the woman he was in love with, was walking beside him. Because he didn't have to drag the guilt around of him sleeping with someone else's wife.

Finalizing the divorce didn't take forever, thankfully. Kensi just wanted it done, so she could move on, and Jack understood that he just had to let her go. He barely put up a fight.

It wasn't until five years later, they, well, Jack ran into them. He hadn't seen Kensi since the day their divorce had officially been finalized, and he hadn't known where she'd gone. He hadn't really cared, either, being too busy to make himself a decent human being again.

He was back in Los Angeles for business and had taken his girlfriend with him. She had never been and since business wasn't going to take longer than two days, he found he had the perfect opportunity to show her around.

So now they were strolling along the boulevard, chatting about everything and nothing. It was then that Jack spotted her. She was chatting to something or something he couldn't see, the smile on her face content and excited. Jack had actually never seen her this relaxed before. And then the source of said contentment and excitement came into view. A baby. A chubby baby with light hair and an infectious smile. No older than two or three months.

In the short distance, a man and little girl with dark curls walked up to the parasol Kensi was sitting under. It took one look to see that the girl had to be Kensi's daughter. Her little legs carried her over to her mother, who enveloped her in a hug and smiled up at the man.

It didn't take a genius to understand that those two people were very much in love with each other and their kids. Kensi was looking at the little girls' hands, probably admiring some seashells as the man took the baby over, making it giggle.

Pam tugged on his hand. "Jack? Something wrong?"

Shaking his head, he turned to her and grinned. "No, nothing's wrong. Everything is perfect."

She didn't completely buy it. "Do you know them?"

Again, he shook his head. Pam knew he had been married before, a long time ago. She didn't know what Kensi looked like, though. He had no desire for her to find out, now. "No. Just a familiar face." And with that, he squeezed her hand and walked along.

From the beach, Kensi looked up and for a moment thought she saw Jack's once familiar figure. It couldn't be, right? Not that she'd mind seeing him; their divorce and everything that preceded that, long gone. She just hoped he was as happy as she was right now, in this moment.

Marty followed her gaze and raised an eyebrow. "Anyone familiar?"

She shook her head. "No, nothing." Her daughter was already asking for her attention, and with it, any fleeting thought of Jack was forgotten. Kensi had everything she'd ever wanted, right here. The decision she'd made almost six years ago, to let her and Marty's love out in the open, the best one she'd ever made. And every single day, she cherished to be loved by him.

* * *

 **The End**


End file.
